dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
