where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
