Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
