Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
