am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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