fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize