I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
