Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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