Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
