she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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