; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
