Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
