3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
