My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
tell me about the fingering
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