Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize