Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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