Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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