That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
