my mouth tastes like poor choices
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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