Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
