i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
