Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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