next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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