I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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