Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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