Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
