it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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