he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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