Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
