I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and she was petting her beer can
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
