Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You're like the curious george of whores
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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