Will you blow on my dice?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
