and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
