didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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