i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
