So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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