he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
