I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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