Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
