About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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