I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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