Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
