You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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