sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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