UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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