It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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