She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
