You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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