I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
