So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
