How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
