have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
