They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize