We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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