He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
