who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize