this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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