he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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