I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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