I heard we made out
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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