Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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